I can remember taking these pictures very clearly. It was beautiful outside and throwing on a light trench over this summery look was no problem on a July day. These pictures were taken a few weeks ago when I was 15 weeks pregnant. I was juuuust starting to show (you can’t really tell in these pics) and I was juuuust starting to feel better. I am incredibly blessed to have a relatively easy ride so far, but let’s be honest, growing a baby is hard work!
I was so exhausted (as most pregnant women are) up to about 12 weeks. I could barely make it through the day without a nap and I was asleep by 8/9pm every single night. Some nights I would take a nap when I got home from work from 6 – 7 wake up to get ready for bed, be back to sleep by 8 and wake up at 8am. Seriously, I was a full-time zombie. I work full time as an event planner so after working all day (and trying not to fall asleep on my keyboard) I didn’t have any energy to work on my blog. It was hard on me, I felt like I wasn’t hacking it. I felt like I lost my creative drive, I felt guilty, and sad. I almost gave it up. I could barely even find the energy to look on Instagram, let alone post a picture. Top the exhaustion with whacky hormones and I was a total mess. (I’m going to insert a huge THANK YOU to my wonderful husband, who was so patient, loving, and understanding during this time! Love you, A.) Now… on top of all of that, I was nauseous all day every single day. OMG I thought it would never end. Even though I woke up feeling really terrible, I thanked God every single day for this incredible blessing. I rubbed my belly every morning and told the baby; I love you. I had a hard time, but I would do it one million times over for this beautiful gift.
Every time I read other bloggers preggo updates, I felt jealous. I would think: Why was it so much easier for her? Is she hiding how hard it is? Was the first trimester really that easy for her or was I just being a…baby? I was down on myself for not being able to get it all done. I know I am human, and pregnant, I am allowed to feel overwhelmed at times and it is natural to need a time out. But this is how I felt. I usually just write about cute clothes and sales and fun things that are going on, but I want to be real. I want to write this so that maybe someone out there can read it and relate.
Needless to say, I was so happy to kiss goodbye to the first trimester. It really was a bitch.
Fast forward to this beautiful day taking these photos. I remember mustering up all my energy, putting on my makeup, curling my hair, and putting together this look. I remember looking in the mirror, taking a deep breath, and remembering why I started to blog in the first place. I started to feel like myself again and knew that getting back into it, slowly, would be the best thing for me. Has this happened to any of you ladies? Had a life change, whether hard or beautiful, and felt a shift in themselves? Felt like they lost their creative edge? I hope I am not alone here, but all I can say, is I am not a quitter. I never have been and never will be. This blog is a huge part of me and I love it so dearly. I love this place I created and the sanctuary it has been for me. I am so happy I did not give up on it. I allowed myself a time out and am feeling happy to be back.
All of that being said, there will be changes here. I am not turning it into a mommy-blog, but I will be turning it into a lifestyle blog. A true look into my open window. Sharing the day to day and documenting the next 21 weeks of pregnancy then, motherhood. YAY!!! I still can’t believe I am going to be a mom. I am BEYOND excited. I absolutely cannot wait.
Trench: Snowman c/o Tank: Soft Joie (Old – Similar and only $20 from #nsale) Skirt: Missguided c/o Sneakers: French Connection c/o Choker: Vanessa Mooney Bag: Proenza Schouler Watch: Kapten and Son c/o Sunnies: Karen Walker Rings/Cuff: Brass Paper Smith c/o
Thank you for stopping by!